Joshua David Carr

July 28, 1969 - November 18, 2013

I met Joshua through a friend on a recipe site, of all places, in October 2012. We would chat about our food and privately about our lives. He joined the recipe site to share his joys of cooking and he was a fantastic cook, but also because his mother, Janet Mitchell, who was his life source, became ill with Lupus. He took a break from painting to care for his mother and while she slept he was active on the recipe site. His mother was everything to him. He told me stories of how, when they didn't have a lot of money, his mom would turn on Motown and dance around the front room with his feet on hers. She taught him to dance and to appreciate the little things, time together with loved ones. She taught him so many valuable lessons that made him the kind of person he was. He was a talented guitar player. He played from the heart. Not a single lesson, but he could hear a song and play it. Amazing to me! Josh was a Southern gentleman that genuinely cared about his family and friends as well as people he didn't know. Every morning, Josh would post motivational, positive things about “sharing a smile” or “appreciate what you have” Those were a couple of his topics. I told him things that I wouldn't share with anyone else and he told me things that explained to me why he was so positive and strong as a person. He cared and listened to not just me, but everyone that had a problem or issue. He counseled all. After a few months we both left the recipe site and started talking on the phone and texting. Every day, while I was at the gym and during his breaks while painting. Hi step-father, Gary Mitchell, is a very loving, supportive father to him. Gary stepped in and gave Josh the father figure he needed. Step-parents are hard to accept at first, but he learned to really love Gary. He respected him and knew that he was a kind-hearted man that made his mother happy. Gary joined Janet with two beautiful daughters, Lori and Julie. Josh has a little brother, Jody Carr who was his best friend. They did everything together and went through a lot over the years, as little boys growing up do. He was very protective of Jody. He even has “I am my brother’s keeper” tattooed on his leg. Josh and Jody called each other “Punky”. He was close to his entire extended family, and very protective of them. Josh would go to great lengths to protect them. I moved two hours away into a small one-bedroom apartment in the S.F. area, for an incredible job opportunity. We continued to talk. When my words fell on deaf ears, Josh listened to me, offered advice and motivated me. I told him what a wonderful person he was with such a genuine heart. He planned to visit California. The business that he shared with his step-father Gary and Jody was slow. He was ready for a change of scenery. The “visit” we talked about became a permanent decision. One way ticket to California. In August of 2013 we finally met in person. We had never seen each other but our souls connected. We would say “this only happens in fairytales”. He left his business C & M Painting, packed up a few things, including his guitar and moved across country to be with me. He started a memory box with all the things we did together. From trips to Pacifica Beach, Treasure Island, shopping trips, menus from restaurants, bowling. Josh used to be in a bowling league. He often joked about a bowling ball that was molded to Gary’s hand! We went to the movies. Even trips to the library were fun with him. We hiked in the hills around our apartment. We discovered new parks in the area. It was our city to discover. I bought Josh a bicycle the first week he was here. He would ride all over town and tell me about the places he went while I was at work. Josh refinished all my furniture. He was very talented at painting as well. I was so proud of him. I encouraged him to write a book about his life and the stories that were his. His triumphs, trials and tribulations made him the kind of person he was. Josh was a huge NASCAR fan and followed the races religiously. He had season tickets when he lived in Gastonia. Not just two tickets, but four so he could take three friends. Everyone Josh met loved him including my friends here in California. His southern accent and quick-witted sense of humor. His laugh would light up a room. What I learned in the short time we had together is that Josh was a very good man. He was handsome, kind, giving, selfless, understanding and he listened from his heart. He was trusting and loyal. We had no secrets. Our walls were down. He let me in. Now I know what it feels like to be loved unconditionally and I loved him for who he was. He left me with a broken heart and the lessons he taught me will live on forever in me and my 16 yr. old son. My son, Ryan, really got to know him. They had some good talks. Josh told him he loved him and believed in him. He listened to Ryan and wanted to know everything about his school work, social life and they shared stories with each other that really made an impact on him. Ryan told me a month ago that he considered Josh “his other dad”. Josh and I had a lot of good times, memories and lessons in the brief time he was with me. I learned a lot. He met my mom, my sister & her fiancé, my daughter, who he called “little dynamite”. He even had a conversation with my ex-husband professing his love for me and told him he would take care of me. We all took a little bit from Josh. I think Ryan saw how a lady should be treated and to stay focused and move forward. Josh passed peacefully in his sleep on Monday morning, November 18. He lost his battle to diabetes which he had been managing for four years with insulin. He died a California resident, with a California ID, a Dublin Library card and a Safeway card. He was so proud. He always told me his life was with me even when he was not with me and that I should never feel alone. He was only 37 years old. His life was short here on earth, but I thank God that he brought us together for his final chapter of his journey. My heart and prayers go out to his sweet mother, Janet Mitchell & Gary Mitchell, his little brother, Jody; his sisters Julie and Lori and for all his other close family members and countless friends in North Carolina and California. Forever and always Joshua Carr will be in our hearts.